sandy carouth

Adrift…

I feel like a leaf in the gutter of life,

Floating adrift, amidst all of the strife.

Letting go; falling down, in spite of myself.

Losing my hope and pride—treasures better than wealth.

Once vibrant with color, so fresh and alive!

Kissed by morning dew, just before the dive.

Now brown and barren, you’d hardly recognize

My lifeless state in this drab disguise.

I held on as long as anyone could,

Not wanting to let go, even if I should.

But I have no real purpose—no direction in life,

And the days I’m disheartened are unquestionably rife.

I feel helpless and trapped, with no way out,

And no where to turn that doesn’t harbor doubt.

I wish I could see just what is down the road…

What’s waiting for me—what the future holds.

I long to be free of this nagging torment;

Torn between here and now, which seems to be dormant,

And what lies ahead, at the end of the line…

Will I overcome this and will everything be fine?

Should I turn to the left or turn to the right?

I’m growing weary of the struggle and tired of the fight.

Feeling repeatedly pulled down whichever way I go,

Ducking into corners and dodging every foe.

I’m in desperate need of a change, but what?

I just yearn to get out of this same ole rut!

What IS the point of this day-in/day-out?

Where am I going?  What is my route?

I’ve spent my whole life getting here where I am.

Why all of a sudden do I feel it’s a sham?

The solution must be out there somewhere it seems;

How to save me from despair and let me hold onto my dreams.

Sandy Carouth

September 2010